Audio Interviews and other things

I have a few audio clips that I want to upload. This is something I have wanted to do for a long while now, but haven't had the chance.

These are a few clips from the Howard Stern show:

Kevin Nealon on crank yankers.
In this clip Kevin calls a gym and is asking about a trainer. Whenever the lady on the phone tries to answer one of his questions he immediately starts talking over her. It is pretty funny and worth a listen.




Jim Breuer Interview:
Now for me I didn't know too much about Jim Breuer other then he was on SNL, and the great movie Half Baked. I didn't ever really think about Breuer or if he was funny or not. It was awhile ago that I first heard him on Howard Stern and in that interview I came away thinking he was funny but it wasnt until this interview that I realized how really great Breuer is. His impressions and stories are so awesome and mind blowing. If you do anything, at least listen to his dave chapelle stories toward the end of the interview. truly incredible! I think his Tracy Morgan impression is probably his weakest, but the others are spot on.


When downloading or streaming its the GREEN download button you want. There is an advertisement on the page that says download just above the real download. Bastards!

Download Jim Breuer Interview


Stream Jim Breuer Interview

Oh Good For You! (Christian Bale voice)

Well my neighbors hit a new low. Instead of just bringing out their garbage cans four days early and taking up a whole parking space:




they now park there the rest of the week.....

fucking assholes...

I should start parking in their driveway.

Worth It!

So a few months ago when it was still cold and horrible outside, our stupid worthless furnace decided that it would stop working. Which has happened on several occasions, however this time when the people came out they said it was shot.

Luckily at the time we had just been given our tax return, otherwise it would have been hard to find a couple grand to blow on the furnace. After they installed the new one, I could hardly believe we lived with that hunk of shit for so long.

We used to turn it on, and you could hear it like some sick dying beast in the basement, coughing... ruuuhghh..... ruuughhhhgh.... ruughghghg.. click click click..rughhghg
fffrooooommm

and then heat...

Now it's always warm and quiet. I don't worry that it could blow up and kill us all, or burst into flames. In fact I hardly know its there, it makes no sound...

A very good investment, we should have done it years ago....But that's not the best part. The best part is the gift that the heating place sent me. I guess just to say "thanks" for the business.

At first when I glimpsed the giant package my mind ran wild with thoughts of what it was.

Turns out it was just the worlds largest fanny pack....



It is so huge (HHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEEEE) they should rename these things to ... I don't know.. .maybe Beyonce pack or something.






Look at those hips I wonder if you could get her whole ass to fit into this fanny pack? If it fits then we should officially rename the fanny pack to Beyonce pack.






Yup, it fits

What The Fuck Moment

DONT SCROLL DOWN FAST
instead slowly read each line, that way when you get to the end hopefully you will have the same WTF reaction as I did


I found this on the internet today while looking for buildings for my three point perspective project coming up. I think the search was "buildings from pop culture" or "famous comic book buildings" because I wanted to add (in my imagined city scape) "The Daily Planet" or you know stuff like that just hidden within the vast city scape.

Either way when what I am about to show you popped up my mind was blown!

So, ok here I am searching through pages of famous buildings when on page 30 (or so) amongst all these buildings and stuff is a thumbnail of a sculpture of a lady clutching a bear head, naked, doing what appears to be waiting to be mounted from behind.




at first my mind reels, wtf is this. What does this have to do with my search result?

I have to click on it.

I get taken to a blog (which in its defense) is mostly about buildings and architecture. Then I find the post with this picture, and my mind is blown again because this sculpture is of a celebrity.

ANY GUESSES?
(REMEMBER SCROLL SLOWLY!!!)

Here is the text of the post:
Daniel Edwards is a sculptor. His pieces address celebrity and popular culture in ways that have often stirred controversy.
His works include a sculpture of the disembodied head of Ted Williams, a life-sized statue of Britney Spears _____ ____(removed two words for shock value later) nude on her hands and knees on a bearskin rug, a provocative bust of Senator Hillary Clinton, and a 25 foot bust of Fidel Castro.


DID YOU SEE THAT???? LIFE SIZED BRITNEY NAKED!!!! WOW INCREDIBLE RIGHT?!?! But thats not all folks!!! theres still that blank space I removed for shock value.

Any guesses on what those two words are?





If you guessed giving birth... then you would be correct.




Here is your reward!!!



WTF!!!!!!!!!

Parking Space Whores

So last Sunday was Isaacs birthday. We had about twenty or so people here, mostly couples, so somewhere in the neighbor hood of ten or so cars. Maybe more...

Which of course sent my neighbors into a frenzy that we were taking up parking along the road and most importantly in front of their stupid piece of shit house.

So that Sunday night they decided to move their trash cans out (remember trash day is Tuesday morning and these people arent known to be proactive about anything in their sad pathetic lives) just to be fucking douche bags. Here is a picture of the cans, notice how they have their cans like eight feet from their driveway and basically take up a whole car worth of parking... what assholes


So these next pictures were from Monday night, the night every normal person puts out their cans. Notice how everyone on the left and right side of the street have their trashcans up on the curb? Yea not my dickhead neighbors... they always have to put them in the street so as to stop me or anyone from parking directly in front of their house.




This is Wednesday night, they moved two of their cans up the driveway but decided to leave the one. Thank god it was the one that was furthest from their driveway so as to continue to waste parking for everyone on the block... what parking space whores. They eventually moved it in Thursday morning.. what kind of crazy asshole do you have to be to be angry about people parking in front of your house? on a public road? on a road that only has parking on one side of the street?... what bitches

Tuesday Is Trash Day

I woke up this morning to find that my bitchy neighbors across the street had decided to put their cans in such a way so as they surrounded my car. I dont know what massive huge pole is stuck up their A holes but man what kind of Dick Head does this?!

Usually they just put one can in front of my car, and not like in the five foot space in front of the car, but like 2 inches in front of my bumper leaving the other 4' 10" empty. One morning I was on my way to work and had to move their can off my front bumper because a car had parked behind me (mind you this was like on a Thursday no reason for the fucking can to be hanging out in the street in front of my car for two days). I didnt see the smoking gargoyle sitting in the dark on the swing (you can kind of see the swing she sits on in the picture) as i moved the can, she jumped up and we got into a verbal argument at lik 5:30am, where she told me to never touch her cans again, and I explained to her that there was plenty of space for her not to put her cans inches away from my bumper and that it was a thursday morning at 5:30 and that this was a public street. I stood my ground, but worried my car tires would be flat the next morning. But it never happened.

Anyway, this is a first with the double cans, inches away from my bumper. I guess to be fair the back garbage can is a foot away from my bumper. So for me to leave without touching, moving, or hitting the cans would only take a fifty point turn (maybe more).



We have had numerous problems with these freak jobs. Once they almost ran over rachel when backing out of their driveway, and even sped up when they saw they were getting close to her.

And there have been several allegations of tire flattenings...
it has never happened to our car but I have heard tales from others.

I only wish I had the balls to put my trash cans in their driveway right behind their car. Or sometimes I want to get into my car and just pedal to the medal right over one of their cans, go around the block, then hit the other can doing sixty.

but i dont want to hurt my car. Plus im trying to sale the damn thing. I wish I could sale my neighbors.

Spring Cleaning

In preparation for the summer, and summer beers, I decided to finally take back the bottles from this winter. So I ventured downstairs to the basement to clean out my stash of bottles and cans. Well, when I saw the rows and stacks of empties I decided against taking them back and instead just bought more beer in hopes that I would formulate a good enough plan on what to do with my mountain of bottles.

So I called Jim and asked him if he wanted my bottles. Which he did!

Thank god he brought his truck!